JimFormation · I've been thinking

Home
Archives
Links and such
Email Me

« The Fuck Off Rant | Main | I m a Sneakers Guy »

You Know the Weather; Here s the News:

Note: This report has been updated since its publication earlier this morning. I m hoping this update will reveal, at least in part, the necessary sarcasm to make me feel good about myself. ~Editor

:::

This morning I watched the reports of Hurricane Wilma on the various national news and weather channels. It s comical that these channels put reporters in the wind and rain to report the news .

This is what I learned from these on-the-scene, breaking-news reporters (and I m not kidding and I m not leaving anything worth reporting out):

Usually during bad hurricanes the ocean floods the street that one reporter was reporting from. This time it didn t.

The force of the hurricane blew over several newspaper boxes. The boxes were left in the shot behind the reporter to prove it.

The same force blew the canvas off a restaurant awning, reported another reporter , but the roof and all its shingles were still intact proved by a close-up shot of said intact roof.

One reporter reported that street lights were out on the street where he was reporting live from. He also reported that there was no storm surge worth reporting .

Another said that, in his previous report , objects were blowing off a nearby rooftop. He further reported that no more objects were seen blowing off that roof. He did caution that more things may blow off later and that, on his next report he d update us.

Another guy told us that it was reported to him that strong winds uprooted several trees and broke branches, but he couldn t confirm it as he hadn t seen it himself.

A reporter on CNN reported that he took his goggles off because it stopped raining.

Finally, and this is my favorite, a reporter on FOX reported that a streetlamp had broken off its stanchion. In mid- report his producer, or what could only be his producer, repositioned the streetlamp into the shot. The rest of the report consisted of denials that the reporter was reporting with props.

All that breaking reportage reported by qualified, on-the-spot reporters broke no real news. (It might be worth noting that according to wikipedia.org that reporting is a type of journalism that is usually distinguished from similar work by news judgment determining newsworthiness. ) Bullshit.

Back to you

JimFormation is hosted by Liquid Web .