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New Jersey. What?

The Big Wigs in Trenton wanted a new state slogan. Apparently, New Jersey and You. Perfect Together , our motto for the better part of a quarter-century is no longer any good. Worn out.

So we, the Citizen of New Jersey, doled out a cool $260,000 to Lippincott Mercer (LM). LM is a marketing/branding company. Their clients include Coca-Cola, CitiBank, BMW, Chevrolet, Hertz, Jeep, Chuck E. Cheese, Dairy Queen, Keebler, Kelloggs, Nabisco, Domino s Pizza, ExxonMobil, NBC, Sony Music, Walt Disney, AOL, Lucent, Motorola, Xerox, Johnson & Johnson I m out of breath

Anyway, we gave them a quarter-million dollars. Do you know what they came up with?

New Jersey. We ll Win You Over.

So bad, so negative did we, the joint Citizenry, think this slogan was that the day before Governor Codey was going to unveil it, it was dropped. THE DAY BEFORE! The doofi in Trenton didn t realize it sucked until it was leaked and we had to tell them it sucked.

Governor Codey has a new plan. He s called for us, the Great Unwashed, to come up with some slogans. His crack committee chose five that they thought were best. Now we get to vote on them.

The governor is shrewd. He s put himself in a position to say, I didn t come up with the new slogan. You, the Outspoken, did.

Bullshit.

Here are the five that are being voted on:

1. New Jersey, Expect the Unexpected

2. New Jersey, Love at First Sight

3. New Jersey, Come See For Yourself

4. New Jersey, The Real Deal

5. New Jersey, The Best Kept Secret

All crap. I think.

I came up with a few (13, because we were the thirteen colony) at lunch today that I thought were at least as good:

1. New Jersey. We buried Hoffa.

2. New Jersey. What exit?

3. New Jersey. Only 25-cents per mile.

4. New Jersey. Not as bad as it smells.

5. New Jersey. Home of two New York football teams.

6. New Jersey. Okay you saw it, now get out.

7. New Jersey. Cranberries.

8. New Jersey. More old people than Florida.

9. New Jersey. What are you lookin at?

10. New Jersey. I don t have a problem. Do you have a problem?

11. New Jersey. Ever hear of Bon Jovi?

12. New Jersey. The Warehouse State.

13. New Jersey. The Jughandle State.

Okay. They were all jokes. Except for maybe #3.

I did come up with another that New Jersey could really run with. If you think it s crap, call it crap and move on. I like it:

New Jersey. We ve Got Yours.

Now stick with me. It s a whole campaign. New Jersey has everything from beaches to mountains to forests to gambling and theatre. We have a lot of stuff. Stuff you you might not find so close together anywhere else.

So each poster and advertisment, etc. could highlight one of those things:

Beaches? We ve got your beaches.
[insert ad copy here]
New Jersey. We ve got yours.

Opera? We ve got your opera.
[insert ad copy here]
New Jersey. We ve got yours.

Higher education? We ve got your higher education.
[insert ad copy here]
New Jersey. We ve got yours.

You know what I mean. This baby is flexible.

My guess is that our governor is going to ignore this post. So if you re a governor of some competing state, say the State of Disneyland, I ll let you have my idea. Free. (Or maybe you can slide me some EZ Pass dollars. You know, help a buddy out.)

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